Artificially Sweetened

I was somewhat intimidated by my assigned match in the Winter Holiday Blog Present Extravaganza and amused by the strange appropriateness of it. Adoptive-mama-to-be gets assigned to adoption-skeptical firstmother? What’s the chances? Plus Kateri seemed so hip I was convinced that she would look at me and my decidely un-punk-rock life with utter scorn. Once I got over my social anxiety, I had a lot of fun putting this together. And since I wasn’t rushing to find out what was in the package, I took LOTS of pictures…

Kateri likes chocolate. She doesn’t want to share it. I can understand that. She said that sometimes she buys organic things because they are more like the person she wants to be than the person she is. I understand that too. So off we go to the food coop in search of organic chocolate. I’m sorry, organic, fair-trade, locally produced, giving profits to charity chocolate. And hey! It’s on sale! More chocolate for Kateri!

To give this situation even more irony absurdity than a horrible Alannis Morrisette song which technically speaking, does not describe irony at all, Kateri also loves Christmas (see, Grinch, me, above). Also on sale at the co-op post-mandatory-religious-holiday:

This “santa approved” treat	And a little nutcracker maple sugar man
Plus this all-natural gum! Because doesn’t everyone need a little glee in their lives?	Since Kateri is craftier than I am, perhaps she will want to try making her own gum?

Then I went to the drugstore to fill a prescription (Diflucan. Ah the joys of the female diabetic, they never end.) and indulge Kateri’s guilty pleasure of nail-polishing with some nice deep hues (a love we share) of admittedly cheap nail polish. They went, along with a bar of yummy smelling soap that was also on sale at the co-op (I came in under the limit, I tell you. Under. Yes, I’m unduly impressed with myself), into a basket left over from a Vietnamese basket-buying spasm on our Asia trip which caused Pili great shame and caused everyone else at the airport to stare at my bag and mutter (at least this is my guess, since I don’t speak Vietnamese) “does she really think she’s going to carry that on?”

While I was at the drugstore I saw these items on sale and thought of Kateri’s adorable little girls.

I don’t generally like products with cartoon characters on them, but this seemed so fun that I decided principles-schmincibles	Magic Soap?!?

I threw in a little regifting – incense and burner – mostly because I thought Kateri would like the pretty blue mesh bag it came in.

Kateri loves music and frequently talks about it on her blog. So I made a mixed cd.

Here’s what was on it (my crazy mixed up cd club friends will recognize some songs):

You Can Never Hold Back Spring – Tom Waits
Born – Over the Rhine
Poopsmith – Over the Rhine
The Kid – Cry Cry Cry
All the Pretty Horses – Calexico
Margaret vs. Pauline – Neko Case
I Touch Myself – Scala
Coin Operated Boy – Dresden Dolls
Complex Person – Pretenders
My First Lover – Gillian Welch
Idle Hands – Amy Speace
Long Night Moon- Catie Curtis
Comfortably Numb – Dar Williams
If I’m Drowning – Over the Rhine
Charm – Wild Colonials
Going Through the Motions – Aimee Mann
Don’t Marry Her – the Beautiful South
All I Ever Get for Christmas is Blue – Over the Rhine
How Shall I Love Thee – Rose Polenzani
To the Lighthouse – Patrick Wolf
The Tower – Vienna Teng

Finally, when I was tearing apart the closet looking for wrapping paper, I found a print of one my photographs, which was taken near where Kateri lives. I attempted to cut a mat for it, but I suck at cutting at mats (see, crafty, not me).

Then I tried to wrap everything. I hate wrapping things.

But in the end, I think it made a pretty nice stack o’ presents.

And of course, because this is my life, it got lost in the mail.

I had the forethought to put delivery confirmation on it, but then I threw out the receipt with the tracking # on it after I saw it had been delivered. Foolish me, I did not stop to think, delivered to whom. I almost had a heart attack when I saw that Kateri commented that she had not received her package. Andrea served as a kind intermediary, and just when I was thinking that all hope was lost, she reported that one of Kateri’s neighbors (or neighbours) had received it in error and just passed it along. Whew.

So, wrapping up this reeediculously long post: Kateri, I hope you liked your gifts. And I hope we can be friends. Will you sit at my lunch table today?