I really couldn’t come up with a category for this

I just had to blog about this

February 25, 2009 at 9:57 pm | In I really couldn't come up with a category for this | 8 Comments

Tonight, at about 7pm, the phone rang.

I answered it as I was looking at the caller id and thinking this is probably a telemarketer…

Computerized voice: You will be connected to your caller now
Me: Hmmm.
Operator Voice: all of our representatives are assisting other customers right now. Please continue to hold…
Me: Click.

My cheap ass state & other musings

January 28, 2009 at 12:40 am | In I really couldn't come up with a category for this, The Sweet Life | 6 Comments

I know we’re in a budget crisis, but this is beyond chintzy.

I got my 1099g in the mail from NYS. On the outside of the self-mailer was a survey with the following text.

Check your preferences, detach and return this card to us.

Which of these new methods do you prefer for obtaining 1099-g information in the future?

Tax Department’s Web site: www.nystax.gov or

Automated phone system

[ArtSweet: How about, none of the above, mail it to me?]

Have you accessed the Tax Department’s Web site for assistance in managing your taxes

Yes

No

Being a civic-minded individual I filled out the survey, and then turned it over to see the following

Postage
Required
Post Office will
not deliver
without proper
postage

Are you kidding me?

Um, no. I am not spending 42 cents of my hard earned money on behalf of the Tax Department and its Web site.

In other news. How to cure Sensertaphobia(TM) in a few easy steps.

Lose your Senserter. Hunt all over your house without success.
Do a hand insertion. Hot damn, those are big fat owie needles.
Realize that the Senserter is pretty useful, despite the fact that you break into a sweat from the amount of pressure needed to trigger it.
Decide you are calling Minimed in the AM to beg for a new Senserter.
Debate whether the cats or the child are responsible for its absence, since you would never misplace anything of such medical importance.

NOT My Day

February 27, 2008 at 10:23 pm | In I really couldn't come up with a category for this, M'ijo | 8 Comments

Part I:

I sneezed at work this morning. With a mouthful of coffee. Which came out my nose (ow). All over my (personal) laptop.

First the keyboard stopped working, then the whole thing started making an ominous beeping noise.

It’s at the computer doctor now. I told him about the coffee, but not about the nose part.

Part II:

Memo to self: Your almost 16-month old son does not have the manual dexterity to feed himself spaghetti in red sauce. He will get very frustrated, resulting in spaghetti and sauce all over you and all over the kitchen. It’s three hours later and I still haven’t mustered the energy to clean up the kitchen, which looks like the set of a slasher movie.

A totally random request

August 9, 2007 at 11:43 am | In I really couldn't come up with a category for this | 10 Comments

I am taking P’ito to an event.

I need to dress him up as a late 19th century baby. This basically means a long, simple, white cotton dress – similar to what might be used as a christening dress today. I’m trying really hard not to spend money on this.

Examples here or here or here.

If anyone out there in blogland has such a thing that I can borrow – i.e. will do my best to keep it pristine, but he’s a baby and crap happens (quite literally) so don’t send me your grandma’s christening gown, would you let me know?

I love the internet

April 29, 2007 at 11:01 am | In I really couldn't come up with a category for this | 10 Comments

Dear Dr. Short But Sweet,

Thanks for the invitation to your tenth anniversary celebration and congratulations on reaching this milestone. As Pili and I do not have any children, and this appears to be a very family-centered event, we will not be attending. In the future, I would suggest that it might be more sensitive to leave those patients who are not “success stories” off the mailing list for such events. It simply serves as one more reminder that we are not among the lucky ones.

Sincerely,

ArtSweet

On a totally different note: For a writing project I’m working on, I need references to songs with the word “friends” in the lyrics. I’ve got “with a little help from my friends,” “that’s what friends are for,” and “you’ve got a friend” but I need a few more. Preferably songs that would resonate with the baby boomer generation… any suggestions?

One more random thought

April 13, 2007 at 1:04 pm | In I really couldn't come up with a category for this | 15 Comments

I really think I need this:

“Express yourself on the road! This sleek license plate frame has a built-in scrolling message display. Simply enter up to five personalized messages (up to 120 characters each), then use the wireless remote to select one as you drive. Super-bright LEDs ensure your message is seen day or night.”

The possibilities… are… enticing…

(The closer you get… the slowwwwwer I drive)

Unfortunately, Pili thinks the possibilities would most likely get me run off the road.

(What are you over-compensating for with that Hummer?)

She’s probably right, but I still fantasize about it as I’m driving home and trying to escape the soothing clutches of John Tesh.

Random thoughts from a very long commute

April 12, 2007 at 9:26 pm | In I really couldn't come up with a category for this | 6 Comments

1. This is some truly truly scary crap. And why is the NPR station always in the middle of a really good story right when I hit the stretch of highway where the only radio stations that come in are Christian or country? No offense friends, but not my listening material of choice.

2. Along the same lines: It’s a little frightening to stop the radio on a station playing “American Pie,” start singing along, and then realize that you’re listening to this.

3. Not even remotely along the same lines: Shouldn’t it be: “Don’ cha wish your girlfriend were hot like me I am?”

4. And finally: If I listen to John Tesh every night will I really live to be a hundred? And more to the point, is there any radio station in my listening area that doesn’t have the John Tesh show on?