March 22, 2006 at 11:22 am | Posted in First Comes Love - Then Comes... GonalF? | 23 Comments


In g-d only knows how many cycles of trying this shit, we have never heard anything but this.

We have never seen anything but one-lined pee-sticks.

I’m so sick of it. I want my fucking tiger already. Two and a half years, and we don’t even have a damn goldfish in a little plastic bag.

Now I will go see my therapist, who went to the same clinic, and now has two kids, and last session told me how there’s nothing like the feeling you get when you hear that you’re pregnant. And she will try to tell me that there is nothing essentially the matter with me, with us, that the reason it works for everyone else but not us is just bad luck.

And I may fire her. Or slap her. Or just crumple up into a ball on her stupid little white couch and howl.


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  1. Oh, hugs!

    I am so sorry for you and Pili! The whole TTC journey just sucks and yours seems to have taken the road through hell of sucking!

  2. ((((hugs)))

  3. (((Hugs)))

    I am so sorry.


    Can’t tell you how many one-lined pee sticks I’ve seen over the years.

    And every last one of them was like a sucker punch to the gut.

    I won’t say “Don’t worry, just keep trying… it’ll happen, etc., etc… ”

    Heard so much of that myself I thought I’d puke.

    And yet — eventually — it did happen for us.

    I’m really hoping the same is true for the two of you.

    Aw hell, more (((Hugs)))

  4. I am so sorry. So sorry.

  5. I am so sorry.

    For whatever it’s worth… do whatever you need to take care of yourself and each other right now.


  6. Sending you and Pili many (((Hugs))). Take care of each other.

  7. Ditto to everything above. {{hugs}} and take care…

  8. Frick. (Which is not really what I really said when I read this.) I’m so sorry. We’ll be thinking of you a lot. I’m sorry.

  9. Ah shit, I’m so so sorry it was negative.

    The endurance and subsequent disappointments of negative tests saps every bit of emotion and energy out of couples going through this.

    (((Hugs to both of you)))

  10. I so don’t have anything to offer that is going to make this any easier. I hate this for you both. I never really had the problem of not getting pregnant, only staying pregnant. I lost three babies and I know the heartbreak you are feeling. All I can say is I am sending love and will cry with you.

  11. Please remind your therapist that there is also nothing like the feeling you get when you hear you’re not pregnant.

    And then kick her in the nuts.

    I’m terribly sorry. This is really hard.

  12. Yeah….what Julie said. I say, fire her if she is really that annoying. I’ve done it. (And I am *not* an assertive person.)

  13. Oh, crap – I am so sorry for you two. You are in my thoughts….

  14. Just de lurking to say I’m sorry. Nothing is shittier than a one lined stick :S

  15. Oh, Art. My sympathies to you and Pili.

  16. I’m so, so sorry. There’s nothing good to say, really – platitudes piss me off so I don’t like to hand them out. Just know that I’m sitting here cursing on your behalf. {{{hugs}}} to you and Pili. This blows. A lot.

  17. I’m sending positive thoughts your way… Relax and pamper yourself! You will, I’m sure, be someone’s Mom someday!

  18. I am so very sorry. Tons of sympathy to you both.

  19. I’m so sorry.

    Sending my thoughts and hugs to you.

  20. Hello, visiting from Michele today. I am so sorry to read your post. We have been down some of the same road that you describe and we have now just started looking in to adoption.

    I will be back.

  21. *%#$!!!! Life is SO unfair at times. You & Pili are in my thoughts. Personally I would go for the slap, then fire, if your therapist tells you that!


  22. So sorry! I hate it when therapists just try to make you feel better. sometimes you just need commiseration, not hope.

  23. artsweet,

    i’m SO sorry. I’ve been out of blogosphere all week–had a crazy one–and just got to check in and saw your news. Hang in there! Indulge yourselves. And know that if it does not work at first, there is no reason to give up–took us six tries!

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