Photo Friday: My Spring

March 24, 2006 at 6:18 pm | Posted in AdoptThis!, Bringing Home the Bacon, First Comes Love - Then Comes... GonalF?, Photo Friday | 7 Comments

A few minutes ago I was outside, walking around in my brown, soggy winter garden, and composing a sulky blog post in my head about how my spring is no spring at all.

(Y’know, that whole regenerative, new life business.)

I was seething from a crappy day at the Job that Blows, contemplating why it is that people who are no good at doing their own job are so damn good at interfering in, criticizing, and/or taking credit for other people’s work. And feeling so utterly hopeless, after reading that adoptions from Guatemala may be suspended in January of 2007. Which leaves me feeling like:
We. Will. Never. Have. A. Child. Period.

And then I saw this.

And even this.

Stubborn little tulips, working their way through the cardboard box that blew in from somewhere. Still with a patch of snow for good measure.

I came inside and re-read all of your supportive, wonderful, commiserative, hopeful comments. And felt something warm and spring-like in my bitter, grey, dried out winter soul. (My g-d, send her back to Creative Writing 101, please, please).

So that’s my spring. One hesitant crocus. A tulip pushing its way through a cardboard box. A job interview next week. Another FET cycle starting soon. Not the most glorious show of daffodils ever, but it’s something.

Photo Friday is a good thing. It makes me post about something else even when all I really want to do is just keep howling at the unfairness of it all.

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7 Comments »

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  1. Well said. I had almost the same experience this morning – pulled out of the depths of my own crabbiness by a few brave purple crocuses. Wishing you more forward motion and moments like these.

  2. Those moments, art-sweet, are all there is, sometimes. Or so I believe.

  3. Beautiful photos. PJ and I were together for 6.5 years before we physically brought our child into our lives. We started trying within the first year of being together. During our 2 year wait to get JL home, I despaired and despaired. Then it suddenly happened with a mere two weeks’ notice! I couldn’t picture what we have now even two weeks before she came home. I can barely picture it now! The deal is that you just can’t give up. You have to feel entitled, and you have to keep pressing forward. And spring happens on its own damned schedule. Damn spring.

  4. Michele sent me, Art-sweet.

    I love the first picture of the tulip coming up. Your post does resonate as well. No matter how bad things look–there’s hope around the corner. In this case it took tulips to show how life goes on, next time it’ll be something else. Thanks!

  5. Hi ArtSweet,

    I have all of three crocuses, and one lone daffodil here in my Philly backyard garden (need to try to get outside and take some photos tomorrow—when it’ll be drippy and rainy again, alas). Plus a few struggling tomato and cuke seedlings on my radiator fighting to stay alive. It hardly feels like spring.

    Hang in there–I think the drippy cold spring is a metaphor of sorts for life—it will get warmer, and better, and happier.

  6. Wow. That’s what I can say. WOW.

  7. I think the phrase “One hesitant crocus” has successfully imbedded itself into my mind. I love it.

    Rooting (pun gracefully intended)for you from here.


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