Interview Meme, Rebound

June 29, 2006 at 11:01 am | Posted in AdoptThis!, First Comes Love - Then Comes... GonalF?, Gradual School, More than you ever wanted to know about me..., Pass it On (Memes), The Sweet Life | 14 Comments

In a weak, I have nothing to say moment, I sucumbed to Shelli’s charms and put myself up for the interview game. A reminder for those who haven’t seen this before – if you’d like to be interviewed leave a comment and say so. I’ll post questions for the first five to do so, which they will answer on their blogs with the same invitation to be interviewed.

1) What is the hardest thing about living with diabetes?

Geez, ask an easy question, why doncha? How can I choose just one? I have lots of things I hate about living with diabetes – the extra suitcase I need when I travel to carry enough supplies for just-in-case-I-get-stuck-in-a-ditch-on the side of the road in a blizzard for two weeks and the inevitable oh crap I forgot x, y, or z, the diabetes drive-by comments

(an anecdote, because I have to get this one off my chest: said to me last night, on the phone with the director of my graduate program, a somewhat ditzy woman who I genuinely love and respect, “I forget because you don’t look diabetic.” In my iciest tone, “Annabelle (not her real name, by a long shot), tell me then, what does a diabetic look like?” A good conversation ensued, in which I once again educated the world that not all people with diabetes are old, fat, and gangrenous)

Then there’s the moments when I hit the wrong spot and OW OW OW! Or the moments when my blood sugar will not cooperate with what I want to do. Or the lows – at intimate moments, in important meetings, at 3 in the morning. Yeah, all those things SUCK.

But the worst thing overall, which really encompasses all of the above, is its constant hum in the back of my mind. The am I hungry or am I low hum, the should I ask when we’re going to stop for lunch hum, the how many carbs are in that, and should I bother testing when I’ve already eaten half of it, hum. The, do I just pull out my meter and test in front of this person when I really don’t feel like having a Diabetes Conversation? That constant hum separates me from other people. While you’re jumping up and down with excitement at the thought of going to the water park, I’m wondering: how will I carry my supplies with me? Will Smokey be safe? (Also, how many people have peed in that water? Ugh.) I wish I could just be there, in the moment, without this constant buzzing that only I can hear.

2) Have you two “picked” which gender you prefer? Can you just say “the youngest one you’ve got?”

Sure, we’ve picked which gender we prefer. Pili prefers boys and I prefer girls. Babies in Guatemala are generally referred within a week or two of birth, so age doesn’t work as a decision avoidance method. And the wait for boys is less than the wait for girls, so if we say we want whichever comes first, we’re saying we want a boy. So here’s what we’ve lit upon and what our agency has agreed to: We will put our name on both lists. When we get to the top of the boy list, we will be passed over until three months have past. If we have not been referred a girl by that point (which is within the range of possibility, but not the range of extreme probability) we will take whichever comes next, which will probably be a boy. In other words, we’ve found a way to leave it somewhat up to chance. Now I just need to write my damn autobiography, yo, so I can get on to my interview with Vaseline Teeth.

3) Can you share your thesis with us in 25 words or less?

Once again, ask an easy question… My thesis is pretty specific to my work, which is not something I want to get into here. So, in 25 words or less: It has to do with making a content area which is generally seen as developmentally inappropriate for young children more accessible to them. During the discussion with my program director last night, we agreed that if I had not made substantial progress by labor day, I’d do the comprehensive exam option, and just get my damn degree already.

If that hasn’t put you to sleep, email me and I’ll tell you more.

4) Could you start a recipe blog, please? Your food pictures make.me.drool!

Aw, thanks. The comments I’ve gotten lately on my pictures, along with the recent disruption in my daily routine, have been inspiring me to focus some energy again on my photography. I love it when I do it, but am far too insecure about it to hang out my shingle as artist. I don’t think I cook enough to have my own food blog, but I’d certainly hint hint be happy to contribute to someone else’s…

5) As far as the embryos – can you do a “natural transfer” cycle – just stick um in, and add progesterone, and call it a day. ALL the while you are focuing on adoption?

A couple of people have suggested that, and I think it’s worth looking into. Mind you, I’m not the one being poked and prodded, but I think that the parts Pili minds are: a) the suppositories b) the ass shots (both of which are involved in adding progresterone) and c) being probed and medicalized in general. Right now, we’re still agreeing to disagree on what to do next. I’d like to do one more cycle, sometime before referral, and just put all four remaining embryos back, and pray that one of them sticks around long enough to say hi. Pili is still, a) bleeding, and b)not so interested in getting back on the table anytime soon.

Anyone who has more experience with this and can explain why a “natural transfer” FET would be significantly less unpleasant than an unnatural one, please speak up.

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14 Comments »

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  1. I’ll play!

    PS: I know what you mean about the hum. With my sweet husband the hum is accompanied by the nagging wife who says, “Should you test?” etc.

  2. Well, I just went through a natural FET rather than a medicated one. (Well, perhaps I am still going through it). At first my doctor suggested that success rates are lower with natural transfers, but then she went to look at the literature and mailed me several recent studies (wasn’t that nice?!) that suggest that there is no difference in success rates between the two. What is hugely different is the time and drugs required. With a medicate cycle, I was looking at birth control pills, Lupron, triggering and such again. Then, because all of that can mess with progesterone production, I was looknig at progesterone shots, which left me really, realy sore for over a year. I was also looking at lots of ultrasounds and blood work. With a natural cycle, I came in for a mock transfer (which I bet Pili wouldn’t have to do if you’re using the same doctor who did the first transfer), peed on some OPKs, then came in for an ultrasound when I got my positive to make sure that I really was about to ovulate. Four days later they transfered them. Which I’ve written about, so I won’t bore you. I did consent to progesterone suppositories but, because my own ovulation hasn’t been messed with, the doctors didn’t think that shots were necessary.

    So, am I trying to convince y’all of what to do? Nope. I know that this is way too hard for that. But for me, natural worked well. For my highly scheduled and regimented doctors’ office, it was probably a pain.

    Enjoyed your meme!

  3. PS– I was going to play it cool and not play, but changed my mind. I’d like to! (But I might be a bit slow in answering since I have some other stuff on tap. So put me at the end of your to-do list.)

  4. You’d be doing me a favor by letting me play. I’m so baby-obsessed that I’m having a hard time thinking of anything else to post about, and I fear my 6 regulars will revolt soon.

  5. Journeywoman: I think sharing the hum, at least a little bit, with someone else, makes it so much more bearable.

    Pithy – this

    http://www.inciid.org/article.php?cat=treatment&id=190

    is pretty much the protocol we’ve been following.

    Alright Susan – not a single baby related question for you!

  6. The hum, yes I have that hum too. You perfectly describe it here. Sometimes I wish that stupid hum would speak up because a hum is something you (I) can almost ignore. Then other times I wish it would just silence…..

  7. I totally know the hum of thinking one thing (Hmm. Does that box have a nutrition label on the back?) while most people around me are thinking about something else. (Ooh! Cupcakes! Happy Birthday Coworker!)

    I think the thesis sounds interesting. Can you expand without divulging your identity?

  8. I know what you mean about the hum too. I think for me it’s more the everyday, all the time nature of type 1 diabetes. I wish I could take a day or a week off and not worry about it. I know that while diabetes is sometimes rough, it’s really not that bad, compared to what many other people tolerate…I just try to keep my perspective on it, but its permanance can really wear a person down.

  9. If Pili has a regular ovulatory cycle, then she could do a natural FET as it is just a matter of timing ovulation then adding in the embryos. Personally, I think it would be a good idea as it would give you closure on the ART.

    Would you forever be thinking of the embryos or if you donated them, what was the outcome? If it did not work out, you would have a clean slate for the adoption and you would know you had given it your best shot. Feel free to ignore this if you think it is all assvice!!

  10. No comments on the FET (because I’m really clueless about that). Just wanted to say that I think it’s cool that this meme has gotten back to you!

  11. Thanks for the input on moving. It’s good to hear from someone who has walked the walk….and thanks for reading – it’s good to know you’re “listening”.

  12. Yes, type 1 bites the big one! Have had it for 38 years…very brittle..up and down rollercaoster daily like an Indian Rubber Ball! Get sick of it and rebel sometimes with just eating what I want and then trying to chase down the sugar! Hard to get out of that cycle….PMS was always bad…too many cravings!(Kettle Corn satisfies all!) Didn’t take the risk of having kids but never adopted either…life just fills in with other things..have taught many kids in 25 years of teaching and have been great aunt and friend to many kids.
    Have had some eye laser surgery and some heart problems so I exercise as much as I can and keep at a very good weight. You try your best when you can and get back on track when you give in a little…New insulin is way better!

    All the best!

  13. Wow! Yes! I know that hum! šŸ˜€

    I just stumbled across your blog now, lol, and thought “Yay!” when I read someone talking about the constant, never-endingness of the hum of Type 1 diabetes… *sigh*. Oh well, it could be worse I guess, but some days, when I am chasing highs and lows by the hour, I am just REALLY HARD PRESSED to think so! lol. šŸ™‚

  14. At last, soneome who comes to the heart of it all


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