Just click your red shoesSeptember 21, 2006 at 1:04 am | Posted in AdoptThis! | 22 Comments
When I talk to people about the adoption, I find myself struggling for the right words. After the adoption, we will bring Guatebaby… home? Home for us. And eventually home for him/her. But for Guatebaby, Guatemala is home. S/he will be used to the smells, the air, the temperature. A drafty old house in the
ice box northeastern united states will not yet be home.
How early do you know what home is? Home for me will always be New York. As much as I loved living in the Flat City, I feel a sense of comfort when I am in New York City that I feel nowhere else. The rythyms of people’s speech, the way people move on the sidewalk, it’s all familiar, innate. I can blend in easily. It startles me to realize we’ve lived here in Small City for three years now because it still doesn’t really feel like home.
What will feel like home to Guatebaby? I worry that all the love in the world will not make him/her feel at home in our world.
Before you rush to reassure me – think about how you feel when you are with Your People. The ones who look like you. Who talk like you. Who understand why baby showers can hurt and that “just relax” deserves a punch in the jaw. Who offer up carb counts with dinner as if everyone needed that information.
I’ve never had any illusions that we’re doing a mitzvah by adopting. We’re adopting because we have a child-shaped hole in our lives. Really, it’s selfish. I do know that we have a lot to offer: a fondness for fart jokes, one very patient kitty and three who know to run away from small children, an affection for our child-to-be’s culture of origin, lots of very eager grandparents, a burgeoning collection of children’s books, and of course, love up the wazoo. I just hope that, in Guatebaby’s eventual calculation of positives and negatives, that those plusses outweigh the biggest minus that s/he will have to deal with: the loss of family, of culture, of belonging, of home.