February 9, 2007 at 10:53 pm | Posted in AdoptThis! | 12 Comments

Envy. Regret. These emotions creep up and grip me around the back of the neck when I’m not expecting them. On of the adoption groups I read, a woman just posted that she received her referral two weeks before we got ours, with the other agency that we almost used.  She just got out of PGN.

We are not even in PGN yet. We don’t have pre-approval yet. Her baby will be coming home when she is four months old.  We will be going to visit our son when he’s four months old.  And even though I know that every case is different, and I know that if we had chosen that agency, we wouldn’t be going to visit that incredible smile of the previous post, I can’t help wondering and questioning and second-guessing.  I’m surrounded by people whose babies are due in August.  And I don’t even know if my son will be home by August.  If there had been a fetus in that sac, we’d have a baby already.  I’m feeling not at all like my best self tonight.

BUT. I am taking a big step and checking off the DNA match on the sidebar, because GAL assures me that if it weren’t a match, we would have heard by now.  I’d feel better if I had that paper in my hot little hand. But. But. But. But.

I was going to try and segue from this into Photo Friday, but I think that deserves a post of its own.


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  1. I hope you get good news very soon! Having had one very long Guat adoption and one fairly short Guat adoption, I’m there with you…

  2. I hope you guys get some good news soon. You both deserve it.

  3. I saw your comment on another Guatemomma’s blog, and just had to come over and give you a hug. This process tests even the strongest of spirits. Hang in there, and if you ever need to vent, you know where to find me.

  4. I understand why you feel so down… I’m sorry you are feeling that way and hope you get good news soon.

  5. Girl, I feel your angst. I’m so sorry you are having a blah-yuck-adoption-day.

    This process ROTS. It really does. We are all in this together!

  6. I know what you are saying. I watch people with my agency and with others zooming past us in the process. This process sucks! But we are in it together so vent away!

  7. I am sorry this sucks so bad right now. I hope that this process picks up the pace for you and Pili so Guatebaby can be with his new mommies!

  8. Just focus on that sweet little face! It’s hard not to say “what if?” 20 million times in this process, I know I’m always creating alternate outcomes to decisions/actions we could have made but didn’t.

    It gives me a headache.

    Just think, soon you will be in warmer climes with Guatebaby!


  9. I think it’s impossible when you’re still in the thick of it not to look back at all the paths not taken and wonder about them. I hope as you move from this space into bringing Guatebaby home that those other paths sort of fade. Until you barely remember they even existed because you’re so sleep-deprived from Guatebaby 🙂 I hope you bring him home soon.

  10. We waited 18 months, exactly what our agency told us. Our daughter was almost 7 months when we brought her home. It’s hard to wait, but you will forget all about it when you are home. Our prayers are with all families waiting. Your new little angel will be worth the wait.

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