Cinco Meses

April 1, 2007 at 10:00 pm | Posted in AdoptThis! | 14 Comments

Our little boy is five months old today.  Happy day, sweet boy!

I have missing him fits in the strangest places.  Today in the supermarket, I saw a starter pack of g-diapers (anyone tried them? please report!) in the organic section, and I just yearned to be able to buy them for him, without worrying that it’s a stupid purchase.

I try to tell myself that if we had adopted from many other places, we wouldn’t even know our baby (g-d willing. knock knock wood) at this point.

But I see other people from our agency bringing their babies home at six months – and I feel this fierce sting of jealousy at the same time as I’m happy for them.  Why them and not us? Why are we just now in PGN (maybe – GAL has still not positively confirmed this) and they are bringing their babies home?

I think envy is one of my worst faults for sure.

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14 Comments »

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  1. The envy is very human, though. Any sane person in your circumstances would feel the same.

  2. Oh the envy! So many babies younger than Sabrina coming home from my agency. It is so hard to fight that conflicting feeling of happy for them/sad for you.

  3. I struggle with envy too! I wish there was some magic formula other than to say, it sucks and I hope you are out of PGN very very soon.

  4. I am sorry you are missing GB so badly. And it’s natural to be envious. I hope you are out of limbo soon.

  5. I would not feel bad about the envy. You want your baby home, there is nothing wrong with that!

  6. Of course you’re envious! Sending you “bring him home soon” thoughts and wishes!

  7. I know it is soo hard to see the younger babies come home. Painful. Missing your child in this wait is the hardest thing I think. I missed Scarlett with every breath I took. Until I was with her again I did not let that breath out. Until I was out of PGN I did not let the complete breath out and then finally when we reached American soil I felt relief like no other. There is something wrong about knowing your child is growing up without you. It is just plain wrong. So backwards. I am seriously thinking of you. I have no advice. I just wallowed. That was the only thing I could do. Marinating in my own crappy feelings and jealousy.

  8. I know exactly what you’re talking about!!! Ever since I got back from the visit trip, I have been absolutely useless! At home, I am just sitting here trying to stay busy, but thoughts of the baby just creep up on me. At work, I am just wanting the day to pass, so I can go home!

    I would never trade those visit days for anything in the world – I loved spending time with him! But it makes this waiting even harder!

    Here’s to bringing our babies home soon!

  9. I hope you area in and out of PGN lickity-split. This waiting process just plain sucks. I’ve done it twice and don’t think my psyche could handle it again. Hugs to you both.

  10. the green eyed monster & I are like *that*. He is my homeboy.
    waiting BLOWS.
    xoxo

  11. I know exactly how you feel! I’m just the same way. I compulsively read blogs and compare timelines. It’s like a sickness with me. I just try to remind myself that once Kit is home, this whole long wait will be just a memory. Good luck to you!

  12. I read these blogs and I am so thankful, I am not the only one that feels this way. I have been waiting…..and waiting…my Lola turned 1 year last mo and Diego will be 10 mo on Monday. The waiting sucks! Thanks for sharing.

    G diapers…I wouldn’t flush them like they say you can unless you have the world’s best plumbing. You can compost the urine ones. Whole Foods Market has some natural diapers now in their brand…and cheap.

  13. Hi! Thanks for the comment. I hear we’re soon to be neighbors in The Semi-Big City!

    Since I’m a diaper fanatic (for babies! get your minds out of the gutter!) I’ll comment on the g-diapers. they’re, imo, the worst of all worlds. They’re not reusable, so you have to spend the money buying them and running out and getting more and all that. and they’re not all that convenient for out-and-about cuz you need a toilet. and the covers still need washing and drying out and all that.

    Around here, you probably won’t find plumbing that will handle them. Our friends tried and failed.

    email me, let me know what you’re looking for in diapers and I’ll point you in the right direction. 🙂

  14. I hope that you will have your son home soon!

    And about the gDiapers, we use them at night and on the weekends. We like them a lot–our plumbing (so far) handles them beautifully, and I look forward to composting the pee ones when it gets warmer.


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