Where I’ve Been

May 30, 2007 at 11:59 pm | Posted in M'ijo | 32 Comments

Staring at/Smooching/Playing with this…

Sunlit

Smiling

Hey! I've got toes!

(Many more pix on flickr)

I am in serious baby withdrawal. Please, please please PGN. I need my smushypants home.

Nothing like a present to cheer you up

May 22, 2007 at 12:36 pm | Posted in Linky Love | 12 Comments

I have to take time away from my pityparty to thank some wonderful friends who have made me smile lately… first of all, all of your comments, which made me feel not so small and beaten down by the world. And second, some gifts which arrived in my mailbox recently and totally made my day.

My fabulouso friend Mel sent GB these hand-me-down sweaters, this sweet little lovie doll, and these fantastic rainbow leg warmer things. I’m not sure she wants the whole world peeking in on her family blog, so I won’t link to it, but she has a super cute boy who is a few months older than GB.

sweat

legs

I got to meet up with the marvelous Menita recently, and she surprised me with the world’s softest teddybear. Oh yeah, this boy is going to be deprived.

teddy

Finally, I got two really cool books from my Secret Blog Pal. One for me – which I DEVOURED in a single night of lost sleep – and one of my absolute favorite kid books for GB. Ferdinand is such a great story showing that boys can be gentle too.

books

Thanks friends. You rock.

p.s. Re, pityparty: I think I just need to step away from the computer. I’m home sick with a massive snotty head cold, and frantically refreshing my email every five minutes to see if: 1) we have gotten our may photos – everyone else from our agency has! 2) my director has written back to the email letting him know that if he wants me to, I would be happy to stay on for at least another month at my current job (this one is giving me a serious case of the oh holy craps) and 3) the real estate lawyer has passed on the name of a property management company for me to contact in case we decide to rent out the cute little house in MUCDTR instead of losing the $ and screwing over our sellers by pulling out…

Hope is a plucked chicken

May 20, 2007 at 5:43 pm | Posted in AdoptThis!, Bringing Home the Bacon, The Other D (Better Living Through Chemistry) | 31 Comments

I don’t think I’ve ever gone this long without posting before. Life has been… interesting. And not in a very good way.

For some reason I feel very embarrassed and ashamed about what I’m about to write about.  Things with the job in MUCDTR are not going so smoothly – it turns out that they have not been able to raise the money they need in order for me to start working there. They’re still trying their damndest and it’s possible that any day now the funding will come through. But for the moment, I wait. And fret. And stress.

In the meantime: I have given notice at my current job (although nothing has been done to replace me, and they would probably be very happy if I were to say I could stay longer) ; I just spent a lot of time at a professional conference telling everyone about my new job and how excited I am about it; and oh yes, did I mention that we have a contract on, and have put down a deposit of not an insubstantial amount of money on, a house in MUCDTR.

Insert head in sand. Scream.

I don’t really want advice or even sympathy and righteous indignation.  I feel like I deserve this.  I feel like I should have known better. That my old friend, the black cloud is still following me around and who am I to think I could actually have things work out for me.

This feeling is compounded by watching younger babies exit PGN ahead of our GB.  Intellectually I know that the fedex delay probably set us back a month, because it meant that our power of attorney arrived a week later than it should have and thus landed in the midst of the holiday black hole that is December in Guatemala. Intellectually I know that the whole fuckup with the DNA paperwork also cost us several weeks. Intellectually, I know that I did nothing to provoke either of these events. Just bad luck. Emotionally? I feel like we are doomed and Guatebaby is never coming home and I will never succeed professionally and why do I even bother?

Happy Mother’s Day to Me (warning, whiney)

May 13, 2007 at 10:16 pm | Posted in AdoptThis! | 20 Comments

I just found out that another one of the families that was visiting while we were visiting has gotten out of PGN.

Their babies are all younger than ours.

Oh, and still no new photos.

Blech.  I know that I should count my blessings, but right now, I’m just feeling blue.

It appears I did something right in a former life

May 7, 2007 at 10:33 pm | Posted in The Sweet Life | 17 Comments

I am the damn luckiest diabetic out there (so far).

Another annual eye exam.

Twenty-one years and counting.  A long stretch behind me of A1Cs that made my doctors sigh heavily and say, I know you know that this isn’t good for you.  An even longer stretch behind me of years when I didn’t bother to know what my A1C was.

Another annual eye exam.

Dread in the pit of my stomach all day. Will this be the time I don’t dodge the bullet? The other shoe has to fall sometime. Biting my lip as my eyes go crazy and I wait for the doctor to come in and check me. Taking my glasses off to see if there are any magazines on the rack. Putting them back on to see that the magazines a foot in front of my face are all year-old copies of Golf Digest. Waiting for the doctor to come in.

Look at my ear. Hairy ears. No, look straight ahead. At my ear. Ewww. Bright light, blinking, blinking. Let’s try that again. Okay, just a minute more. Okay, you’re done.

Your eyes look great.

Pili standing up in the waiting room, scanning my face for signs of trouble. Smiling when she sees that I’m smiling at her.

Your eyes look great.

Stepping out into the blinding sunlight, grateful for its ferocity even behind dark sunglasses.

Protected: I am a happy camper

May 4, 2007 at 1:53 pm | Posted in AdoptThis! | Enter your password to view comments.

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Happy Six Months, Sweet Boy

May 1, 2007 at 11:27 pm | Posted in M'ijo | 20 Comments

In honor of Guatebaby’s six month birthday, I present my first attempt at video uploading…

Guatebaby meets Smokey the Pump

One piece of good news, according to GAL, we are “definitely in PGN now.”  No word as to how she knows this or when she knew it.  So I’m waiting until Friday, when I will hopefully know when we were submitted, to check “enter PGN” off the list.

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