There once was a blogger

December 3, 2007 at 11:47 pm | Posted in Blogging about Blogging, More than you ever wanted to know about me..., The Other D (Better Living Through Chemistry) | 25 Comments

I have this Thing.

The longer I postpone doing something the harder it is to do it. I think “I should have done that last time I thought about it and what the hell is wrong with me and…” and then (at least this is what my Much Beloved Therapist and I concluded) I associate shame with that task, whatever it may be, and so I “forget” to do it and then the next time I remember it’s even harder to overcome the shame and actually do it.  So then when I think “oh crap I meant to do x y or z” I feel even worse, and am even more likely not to do it. Some of the areas of my life where this has impacted me include:

  • returning phone calls & emails
  • writing my m.a. thesis
  • taking insulin (shit, I was going to take my shot after dinner and I forgot and I should do it now, but look at the floor and how dirty it is…)
  • returning library books (this one has cost me $$$)
  • filling prescriptions & making doctors appts
  • and now… blogging

I suppose I could blame my silence over the past few weeks on busy-ness, which is true, but never stopped me before, or on all of you who were doing nowblowme nablopomo and kept me hopping just to keep up the comments, which I didn’t (more shame) or any number of things, but the truth is, I have whipped myself up past cream into butter. The more days go by, the better the comeback post has to be and the harder it is to sit down and write it. How can I just write about baby food or do a meme when I haven’t written in weeks?

So finally I am blogging about the shame in the hope that doing so will free me up to write about second parent adoption (anticlimax galore, pictures on flickr) and babyfood (please tell me that my child is not the only 13 month old who would rather eat stage 3 purees than finger foods) and meeting bloggers (who I am too lazy to link to) and sick cats and the trainwreck that is my immune system (any other diabeters with lichen planus out there?) and shout outs to bloggers with good news and crappy news and…

And please don’t tell me not to feel ashamed: because then I just feel more ashamed for being ashamed.

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25 Comments »

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  1. I still love you Art!

  2. *smooches*

    • Mary, I don't believe I've ever eaten a crumpet and I sure di&n;#39dt know the difference between English muffins and crumpets. What a wonderful history story you've shared. Thank you. I love to know the history of food.So glad to see someone use a James Beard recipe. It seems he's become forgotten and that's a shame.Sam

  3. I have the same Thing. Glad to hear from you!

  4. I missed you!

  5. LOL … when I saw nablopomo, I thought “nowblowme”, too! Sorry, but first and foremost, I blog for myself, I don’t want to feel obliged to post something because of some contest. Oh well, look at the bright side: at this moment, there are just 412 days, 15 hours, 0 minutes and 45.9 seconds until George W. Bush becomes a pathetic chapter in American history!

  6. There – now you don’t have to link to me, they can just follow this – nice meeting you too ; )

    And the only thing I’ve posted in months and months was a meme too. We’ll have to get together again to feel guilty together : )

  7. I find the same thing. The longer I go without blogging, the harder it is to get back into it. I’m just waiting for somebody to point out that I didn’t launch my book club discussion on Sunday as promised.

  8. It’s nice to see you again!

  9. Your post is pretty much exactly how I feel “The more days go by, the better the comeback post has to be and the harder it is to sit down and write it.” I also truly believe that I also have said Thing but my therapist was not nearly as insightful about this nor helpful. The last 4 bullet points of your list apply to my life. I am unable to borrow books from at least 2 of the local library systems.

    I personally love reading about whatever is happening in your world, especially the babyfood 🙂

  10. Glad to hear from you again. I am eager to hear about second parent adoption and meeting bloggers and everything else!

  11. Ah if only we could do everything we intended to do when we intended to do it. But…then we’d all be perfect and how boring would THAT be?!

    You lighting candles with Pepito? Maybe we’ll get a snapshot of that? 🙂

  12. I get this. Mine’s less shame and more overwhelmed-ness, but the continues procrastination making all things worse is just the same.
    Good to see from you.

  13. Happy Hanukkah! Hugs!

  14. Oh, I TOTALLY do this too. Like, for reals. There’s a survey on my desk I agreed to finish like, oh, 4 months ago? EVERY DAY I think I should do it and DON’T. I’m SOOOO lame.

    Let’s get our little Jewish boys together to burn down our house and smear greasy top-8-free latkes all over the furniture!

  15. I do the same. Though it has gotten better over the years. There is a great article about perfectionism in the NYT that you might check out. Glad you are still around.

  16. When I sat down this morning, there were over 900 posts waiting for me in my bloglines. I just looked and I’m down to 280. My guilt was also overwhelming and accumulating by the day. Maybe this will be the day that we can both try to get it going again?!?

  17. Can I copy (almost verbatim) large chunks of this post and tack it up on my blog? Please, pretty please?

    I share your shame — hopefully that makes it easier for ya!

  18. Library books? I hear ya. Just took some back that we’re a little late *cough*threemonths*cough*
    On the upside Happy Hanukkah!

  19. Wait, you have to take those books back to the library?! Oh….

    No worries, hon, we’ve all been guilty of life taking over and having no time left for blogging or, errr, the other parts of life. I’m happy you’ve jumped back in here. Now come back soon and tell us something else!

  20. Eh, I haven’t posted in two months. It happens. Welcome back!

  21. I so understand. This topic is huge in my therapy these days (when I bother to go). Welcome back.

  22. Ha. I forced myself to write a post and I could have just copied you.

  23. I know I’m late to the party (again), but like Scott S. said, blog for you, not for us.

    We’ll always be here when you feel like posting – otherwise don’t worry about it!

  24. Just here to commiserate. I’ve actually gotten hate email before for going too long between posts. Seriously. Like I need that crap. Enough already, mom!!!


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