To the fine people on flight 554, I apologize sincerely

December 31, 2007 at 1:45 pm | Posted in M'ijo | 22 Comments

I am sure you will all be relieved to know that my son was asleep the SECOND he was strapped into his carseat. And not a moment earlier.

We are breaking up our eastward journey at The Worst Time to Travel by stopping in flat city and introducing Pepito to some of his fanclub members. This is the first opportunity I’ve had to blog or read blogs in a week!

A few things about which I’ve been meaning to blog/beg for advice on:

  • Food: How long is too long to eat baby food? Pepito (14 mos) will happily feed himself real food (and has eight teeth to chew it with) but prefers the jarred stuff. He is eating us out of house and home in Earth’s Best.  I kind of feel like we should just go cold turkey and let him eat only solid solids.  What winds up happening is: We offer him a smorgasboard of Real People Food.  He eats some, but not enough to satisfy Pili (usually) or me (less usually).  Pili pulls out the jar.  I roll my eyes and mutter about serving Earth’s Best at his wedding.  He gobbles down the EB.  I mutter about how he’s never going to learn to fill up on Real People Food if he keeps eating this stuff.  Am I right? Is Pili right?
  • Travel: O g-d where to start? Is it possible to travel light with a toddler while flying cross country for a two-week trip?
  • Mommy Preference: Despite all my best efforts, Pepito shows a clear preference for Pili. I will be honest – it stings. I worried about this when I thought one of us would be the biomom, but this kind of took me by surprise. I am trying my best to keep trying, and not just to always hand him over when he starts fussing, but damn is it hard.
  • P@k N Plays: Why are there so many different models of the damn things with so many different locking mechanisms, and why do they never want to lock when your child needs To Go To Sleep.
  • Raspberries: They were funny, once.  Now he does them All the Freakin’ Time and can spit up to two feet away.  The first time people think it’s cute and laugh and raspberry back at him, but then the spit starts hitting the fan.  My son, the llama.  What to do? We ignore it, but it’s really hard to get others to ignore it.

Oops, awake baby. More later.


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  1. Traveling with a toddler? Forget it! You need to bring the house. As far as the preferance stuff, I will let Cheryl talk with you on that because it’s something that she experienced with Katie at that age. Now it’s reversed and Cheryl is parent in favor and yes, you are right, it stings being the parent out of favor. Katie clearly wants Cheryl now and will tell me that she loves her more than she loves me. Ouch!

  2. I’d much rather hear a baby than the game of Battleship that was going on behind me on my last flight.

    Seriously… who plays Battleship on a plane?!?!

  3. I say don’t worry about the jarred food. If he likes it, let him eat it. He won’t be eating it forever and at least you know he is getting his veggies. Sometimes I wish I could shove some jarred green beans down my toddler’s maw. It’s a lot cheaper to make your own, but I have no idea if you have that kind of time.

    It is impossible to travel light with a toddler.

    Sorry to hear about your mommy preference problem. We are a traditional family and somedays our son loves me, somedays he loves my husband. Some days he BEGS for pappa all day long, yet when we pick pappa up at the train station he won’t even look at him, other than to glare at him.

  4. Not that this helps much, but have you seen this t-shirt designed for traveling little ones?

  5. Man, it has been FOREVER since you posted! 🙂 We miss you & need to see some pictures soon!

    Still have the fondest memories of meeting you all in Antigua

    Happy New Year!

  6. Gatito vastly prefers A and it really stings, too. If we are both there, he wants only daddy, so we have to make times when I send A out of the house or go out alone with Gatito for me to get any time with him at all. I don’t have a solution, but at least wanted you to know you’re not alone and that it’s not unique to lesbian or adoptive families!

  7. hee hee – Yeah, flights get easier, I PROMISE!

    We still keep the EB “Cinamon, apple oatmeal – stage 3 jars” as “baby fast food” – one jar in the diaper bag, and it’s a life saver, as the picky toddler year(s) encroach.

    He’ll self regulate – as he enjoys your food more, he’ll eat less of the EB. We only got rid of all jars (except above mentioned oatmeal) around 17-18 months.

    As far as preferred parent – well, ayup, Malka prefers me. It hurts Narda, but she understands. A friend was telling us to enjoy it, as child preferences change SO much in the early years, that it may not last.

    Sorry that part is so rough. It would sting terribly for me, if I knew it were reversed, truth be told.


  8. PS – the title of my autobiography will be: “There’s no such thing as traveling light, or leaving on time with a toddler.”

  9. it’s a post!!!

    Have been missing you big time.

  10. You can’t travel light with a child. Impossible.

    Jarred food – it is probably fine to let him keep eating it if you guys are okay with it. We just quit buying it and when Sabrina didn’t eat enough people food, I would tear up a piece of bread and she would happily gobble that down (she loves her carbs). We did still occasionally buy it when we travel in case we are stuck and need to have something to give her and the gas station only has beef jerky but now we just take bread and graham crackers for those situations.

    Sabrina usually prefers me and it hurts my hubby’s feelings a lot. He usually just works through the fussing. If he is putting her to bed or feeding her dinner and she starts fussing for me, I leave the room and he just keeps at it through the fussing. It is hard for me to hear her fuss because i know she would calm down if I picked her up but I also know it is important that she see him as an equal caretaker so I let them work through it.

  11. My son has typically preferred me to my husband. I’d say it’s the same thing, only with same-sex parents. And I’m sure it does hurt, *hugs*

    That said, there have been times when Nate has preferred Daddy to me, and that has been hard. He usually comes back to me, but I can see there may be a day when Dad is going to be it for awhile. Huge huge *hugs*.

  12. Traveling light with a toddler: only if the place you’ll be for two-weeks have a Pack & Play, toys, and a car seat. Otherwise, you’re kind of out of luck. You can sleep with Pepito, if you think it will work, and that will eliminate the P&P. Or you can rent a crib–we did that when we went to visit my grandmother, and it was a lifesaver. Toys can be as simple as empty Tupperware and a wooden spoon (those still entertain P, and he’s 4). A car seat is the only non-negotiable, really. You can avoid a stroller if you have a carrier (I have a patter for an Ergo, or you can buy one–they’re the best and most comfortable for you and a toddler).

    The parent preference thing is tough, but it will eventually swing the other way. P went through a distinct preference for me for a LONG time; now he’s in a distinct preference for his daddy. I was perfectly fine with that when he woke me up this morning and said “Mama, tell Daddy to come and play trains with me!” But I do know that it hurts and it’s hard, and unfortunately, there’s nothing to be done except wait it out and try to get as much one-on-one time as possible until then.

    Food–maybe make him pasta and cover it with the jarred food? Or you could mix the jarred food with small chunks of cooked carrots or zucchini, and maybe he’d eat them along with the jarred food? No real suggestions!

  13. That was supposed to be a “pattern” for an Ergo, which I will happily send you if you’d like.

  14. Baby food: go cold turkey. He’ll get enough to eat, even if it doesn’t look like it.
    Mommy preference: yup. It sucks. i just posted about this exact thing. It’s agonizing, isn’t it? I’m with you.
    Travelling light: don’t even hope for it, and don’t apologize!

  15. We just flew to Denver over Christmas, and I am SO thankful that my parents had EVERYTHING we needed, otherwise it would have been rough. I think the general consensus is traveling light is a distant memory at this point. Sorry.

    For the preference thing, K. will take his Papa over me in an instant. We’re bonded and attached, but when it comes right down to it, he WANTS T. It stings-just last weekend it caused a meltdown (mine) in a department store. Nice, huh? Just keep smiling and hugging on P’ito and you’ll get through.

    INteresting question about the food-we were just asking the same question. K. likes a few big-kid foods, but not enough to sustain him. We, too are wondering at what point we should go cold-turkey and let him work through it. I am too chicken right now 😉

    Glad to see a post!

  16. Happy New Year to all three of you!

  17. Glad you’re back!
    Food: There is no “time by which”, where you’re a bad parent if he’s eating mush from jars after that. So don’t worry about his eating development; it’s not delayed or anything. If you’re worried about the cost (and that stuff is wicked-ass expensive) then make your own. It can be pretty damn easy and quick to make a lot at once. Take the empty EB jars (I know you’ve been saving them, right??) and fill them with the homemade stuff (with a little room at the top) and freeze some, fridge some. If he doesn’t like it as much, well, tough! He’s not going to starve. And, really, you’d be surprised how small a life-sustaining serving size is for a chap his age. 🙂

    Travel: Um, no. We’re going away for 4 days and we’re bringing his hammock, bathtub, etc….

    Mommy preference: It’s just a phase. And being the IT mom sometimes sucks. It doesn’t happen a lot around here, but when it does…Like last night when fostermama nursed Squeak around 1am and then he wouldn’t fall back to sleep for her and kept arching and reaching for (sleeping) me. She had to wake me up. I’ve never wanted someone to dislike me as much as I did in that moment.
    P’ito will come around. and, in 15 or so years, he’ll hate both of you equally. so you have that to look forward to!

    P’n’Ps & Raspberries: babies and their accoutrements like to annoy us. it’s as simple as that.

  18. I wouldn’t stress too much about the food–keep serving a variety of foods and he’ll move on with more solids on his own pace. You could, I suppose, take one meal a day and keep the ratio of solids/baby food a little higher (lower? I mean more solids), but he will come around.

    It totally sucks when you’re the unpreferred parent. Just wait it out and the tables will turn.

    You can sort of pack light with a toddler–keep it sort of light on the plane so you can move around the airports well. I always pack a backpack which we call the bag o’ fun, and in it I put a couple of things CG picks and a few new things, usually some activity we can do together (something to color, new stickers, a new small pad, lacing things,a mini etch-a-sketch, stuff like that). I always got her her own seat, too, which gave us a little more room.

    Then think about what you really need in the place you’ll be–you’ll need to check through his car seat (if you’re not taking it on the plane), but it is possible to rent all kinds of things: toddler beds, cribs, high chairs, pools (my parents always rented a little baby pool when we went to Florida and CG was too young for the pool in their complex). So you may not need to take everything with you. And if you’re going somewhere you’ll stay again, you may find it better to buy some things–my sister and I kept an umbrella stroller and a booster seat for the table at my parents’ house in Florida and all the kids used them.

  19. Whew.

    Ok. I’d give him mostly solid food and offer the occasional jar of pears for a treat. But that’s just me. I’d ask your doctor. I do remember happily eating jars of pear baby food whenever I could, even around five years old. But if you give him solid food until he’s no longer hungry, whipping out the jars all the time might make him save room for them, if you know what I mean. Instead of whipping out the EB, just stop feeding him when he’s done with the solids and offer him more solids if he acts hungry later? That’s what I’d do. I think. BTW, you can also feed him regular organic applesauce instead of EB, and frozen pureed squash, to save moulash.

    No, it isn’t even possible to travel light with a toddler for a weekend car trip.

    Parent preferences happen. It is happening in our house right now. Just remember that your turn will come around, too.

    Cakie loves to spit. We tell him no and that it is yucky. And we stop playing with him until he stops. But that is hard to do when other adults think it is cute and encourage him. Good luck with that. It was great to hear from you!

  20. Happy New Year!!!

  21. We just got back from a visit with Sumo a few weeks ago (he’s just about 13 months now) and he was SO not into real people food. Seriously I have probably an entire memory card of him making the most hysterical faces at the various foods we gave him to try. He was having none of it.
    Then two weeks later, bang zoom all he wanted was regular food AND he weaned himself from the boob three times a day to one.
    Babies are just weird :o)

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