Letter from faraway

December 28, 2006 at 4:05 pm | Posted in AdoptThis!, M'ijo, PiliPiliPili | 16 Comments

Pili writes: “I am in an internet cafe here in FARAWAY PLACE and the young lady that works here comes over to my screen while I”m looking at the pictures and says, ‘Is that your child?’ Wha! Imagine my delight to say – yes!!! What an amazing thing.”

When I read this email a huge smile spread over my face. Imagining a stranger 8400 miles away from us knowing somehow – from the expression on her face perhaps? – that this chubby cheeked brown boy was connected to my fairskinned, fairhaired Pili. While I don’t like the whole “born in my heart” phenomenon (come on folks, he was born in Guatemala, from some other woman’s womb, and I don’t intend to ignore or efface that) it’s remarkable the connection I feel to this child I’ve not yet met.

	My mom sent down this little Hanukkah outfit for him to wear in his holiday pictures, but they still stuck the Santa hat on him. He doesn’t look too pleased about it either. But I still want to smooch those chubby cheeks.
	This one is blurry, but I still love how deep and warm his eyes are in this picture. He looks like such a gentle soul to me.

I hope he will be our child. I am getting more and more forlorn about this whole DNA debacle. You know it’s bad when you’re jealous of people who have been stuck in PGN forever because at least they’re in PGN. Even while I know that they want to get babies to families as fast as possible, I can’t help wondering if there’s something that our agency could be doing better…

This system sets you up to constantly second guess yourself and your own ethics. You hear about some people stuck in PGN for months and others getting out in days, and I find myself wondering… is it luck of the draw? Or are palms getting greased? And if palms are getting greased, would I object to a little grease on our behalf? Ugh, ugh, ugh.